It's about quality- not quantity

Kennon Humphreys, Age 8, Oil on canvas

My collector Betsy is a working mom who has struggled with the guilt of not being at home with her daughter full-time.

But she's come to realize over the years that it's more about the quality, not quantity, of time she spends with Kennon.

"My advice for mothers is to be intentional with your time, regardless of what the quantity of the time is spent with your child on a daily basis.  Every moment is a gift for mother and child (even when it doesn’t feel that way)," Betsy says.

I know stay-at-home moms say they struggle with this too, being present with their kids and enjoying the fleeting moments.

Kennon, her portrait, and Eleanor

When I asked Betsy about the top two lessons she's learned as a mom, she said true forgiveness and openness to change. 

Forgiveness, because children let go and don't hold your faults over you. 

"They will almost immediately forgive and forget in the purest way," Betsy says. "It has taught me to try to do the same."

And openness to change because, well, you have kids!

Things rarely go as planned, and sometimes that can be a good thing. She says some of her favorite moments with Kennon have been when their plans have changed.

I absolutely loved getting to know Betsy and her daughter, and capturing her sweet personality in a portrait. I hope it helps Betsy treasure their relationship even more:)

A Girly-girl and a Rascal

Francis, Age 4, Oil

Henry, Age 3, Oil

Last week I wrote about the greatest lessons my collector Micki has learned from motherhood.

This week I want to talk a little bit about her portraits, and how I captured the individuality of her children.

So the first portrait I did was of Frances, and she is what I would definitely call a girl-girl.

She's very sweet and delicate, but she's also got a little sassy-ness in there. When I first met her she had just gotten done with a yoga class:)

And she just looked like a little angel in her dress with her beautiful blue eyes, so I really sought to capture that delicate part of her personality.

I did that by keeping the colors in the background muted. In real life the staircase is a lot darker, but I didn't want that to overwhelm her so I kept it light. 

She's holding a white gardenia to symbolize her delicacy. Her expression is really soft, not super-smiley, just natural. 

And then for Henry's I went in a totally different direction because he's a different child.

He's a little boy full of life, very rascal-y. He has has lots of energy, and was running around the whole time I was trying to take his picture. I could hardly get him to sit still for one second! It was like as soon as he saw the camera he was off. 

I loved this particular photo of him because it really captures that. He's very much in motion and about to go.

Theres also a confidence about him, like he's really sure of his world. He's happy and full of life, and I used the bold colors of the background to reflect that bold personality.

It brings out some of his best features too, like his black glossy hair, and then the red picks up the rose in his cheeks which I love.

And I just think the colors compliment each other wall and reflect who he is.

Because its my mission to help kids know they are loved and valued for who they truly, are and that means capturing their personalities and making them feel special. 

Stop and Enjoy Your Kids in the Present

“Stop and enjoy as many moments as you can with them. Love them, teach them, learn from them. Sometimes their simple thoughts and words can be so powerful, and you stop and are truly thankful for the precious gifts that God gave you.”

— Micki Martin

Henry Martin, Age 3, Oil on canvas

Francis Martin, Age 3, Oil on canvas

My friend and collector Micki is the mom of two precious kids, Henry and Francis.

I met Micki several years ago through another one of my collectors, Colleen. She saw the portrait I did of her son and wanted ones of her kids.

I had a lot of fun doing these portraits. Everything from the beauty of the children and their personalities, to the home, made these some of my favorites.

Francis' personality is soft and delicate. She's a girly-girl.

And Henry is definitely a wild child. I could hardly get him to stand still for one picture!

I just love Francis' blue eyes, and Henry's glossy hair...

I asked Micki if she would share some of the greatest lessons she's learned as a mom for this blog post. (I've been featuring the wisdom of my collectors on a weekly basis.)

The first thing I wanted to know was what her biggest fears, worries, concerns are as a mom.

She said her biggest worries about motherhood is that "one day I will have to let go of them and hope that I did the best I job I could at raising them."

And when I asked her what the top two lessons she's learned are, she said:

"My daughter and son are truly the most wonderful gifts from God. I have had to learn (the hard way!) that nothing has to be perfect. They are going to be messy and they are going to laugh while they are making the mess. They will be loud and it will hurt my ears, but its a joyful noise!

I have learned that if I don't stop and enjoy them in the present, it's going to get away from me. Fast.  They will be taller, chattier, wiser...all in the blink of an eye!"

This is what I hear from moms all the time! Learning to live in the moment with their kids and not worry about doing everything perfect.

And lastly, I wanted to know, what's the most important piece of advice you'd give to a mom-to-be?

"Stop and enjoy as many moments as you can with them. love them, teach them, learn from them. Sometimes their simple thoughts and words can be so powerful, and you stop and are truly thankful for the precious gifts that God gave you."

Amen to that!

What true, unconditional love really is

Caroline Hill, Age 5, Charcoal

Gracie, Age 5, Charcoal

My collector, Kristen, is the mom of two adorable girls, Caroline and Gracie. I had the pleasure of meeting them and doing their portraits a few years ago.

(Kristen is a fellow Auburn grad and her husband is my former youth group leader).

One afternoon I had Kristen over to my studio and while she was there I asked her some questions about being a mom.

While Kristen is a great mom, she says that worrying is a daily battle. She worries that she’s not parenting the right way, not doing the right thing…

That she’s permanent “screwing” up her kids!

Sound familiar?

She says she truly couldn’t be a mom without her faith.

The only thing that saves her sanity is knowing that God loves her and her girls even more than she does.

Amen!

One thing Kristen said I found really beautiful.

She said since becoming a mom she’s learned what true, unconditional love really is. 

 

It’s not of myself, she says. 

I just love that, because the reason I do these portraits is to help kids know they are loved and valued for who they truly are!

And I help parents show that unconditional love.

Although she has her own fears and doubts, Kristen would encourage every mom to try to find joy in every stage.

Embrace the constant change, she says. The days seem long, but the years are short. You blink and your babies are grown!

Moms, how do you experience love differently since having kids?