She almost lost her daughter, but never gave up hope

5-year-old Maggie

PPROM (Preterm premature rupture of membranes) is a rare condition that happens when the amniotic sack breaks too early in pregnancy.

It sounds horrible, and it is. My friend Lee Cordon, writer of etiquette blog Do Say Give, experienced it with her daughter Maggie.

Because a baby can’t develop lungs without amniotic fluid, Maggie had little to no chance of surviving outside the womb. So the doctors encouraged her to terminate the pregnancy.

But Lee refused to give up. She’d gotten to know this baby, felt her kicking, and knew ending the pregnancy just wasn’t the right thing to do.

So she did the only thing she could – went home and prayed for a miracle, along with her family and church. She stared a blog to keep people updated. 

Lee says it was during this time her faith was the strongest. “When you don’t have any other hope, you have to rely on the promises of the Lord.”

During the seven weeks she was in the hospital, she remembers a distinct moment when she felt God providing for her. A kind hospital cleaning lady who she saw regularly told her the baby was going to be OK. She said a prayer for her in Spanish and told her to believe. Lee says she was a guardian angel.

Maggie was born 29 weeks through an emergency C-section. Lee wanted to be awake for the first few moments of her daughter’s life, knowing they might be the last.

She was rushed to the NICU and amazingly, lived. The doctors couldn’t believe it. Maggie was a miracle.

Still, the doctors said she would have major disabilities.

Maggie came home and they spent the first three years going to appointments. Lee says it was a big blur of all-nighters and feeding tubes.

But Maggie made it, and she’s doing great now – running, playing, and doing things normal kids do. She’s bright and happy, with a fighter’s spirit. She still has therapy, but Lee and her husband can't complain. She’s alive, and that’s something they thought might not happen.

For moms going through a similar experience, Lee says never give up hope.

“During periods of hardship and suffering a tiny glimmer of hope can get you through the most difficult days. Cling to that hope and don't ever give it up.”

Have you gone through something similar? Leave a comment below.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received about being a good mother?

Whitney Bricken, Age 3, Charcoal

Children grow up fast. One thing I hear consistently from moms is how quickly they see their kids' features changing. Before you know it, they're teenagers (yikes!)

There is only so much precious time.

There’s stuff that everyone says you “need” to do, but I’m talking about the kind of advice your grandmother gives.

Wisdom that stands the test of time.

So in honor of Mother’s Day, I’ve put together a list of the top 5 wise words of advice to help you be more present with your kids:

“Take care of yourself, embrace any help that is offered and lastly, my Grandmother’s advice to me: “Children are life renewing, slow down and enjoy every moment.”

— Sara Madasu, Memphis, TN

“Stop and enjoy as many moments as you can with them. ”

— Micki Martin, Memphis, TN

“Have fun and don’t be so hard on yourself.”

— Lauren Keras, Memphis, TN

“Try to find joy in every stage and embrace the constant change as best you can.”

— Kristen Hill, Memphis, TN

“When your child grows up, he or she won’t remember if the shelves were dusted. Your child will remember the experiences and feelings that accompany them. Make them good ones. ”

— Deede Sherman, Memphis, TN

Btw, these words and more are in my book, Lessons of Love, which would make the perfect gift for Mother’s Day!

So let’s hear it. What’s the best motherhood advice you’ve been given?

Leave a comment below.

Anna Jane

Anna Jane Johnson, Age 4, Oil on canvas

I met precious little Anna Jane last December in Austin. Her mom, Ellyn, had saw my feature story in Memphis Magazine and contacted me about a commission.  

Even though I don't live there any more (proud Texan now) I frequently travel to do commissions. I met Ellyn and Anna Jane when they were coming through Austin on a family trip, and took the pictures at their hotel. 

Anna Jane is 4, and I just loved capturing her at this special time in her life. I remember thinking how delicate her features were, and her personality was friendly but also a little reserved. I think her expression really captures that. 

I usually take the pictures in the family's home, but because we were in a hotel I didn't want much of the background to show. I think it works really well for this portrait, because the focus is all on her. I kept the background loose and with a soft palette that compliments her perfectly.

Ellyn was really nice and easy to work with. I always ask the moms who commission me to share the best piece of advice they'd give to a mom-to-be. Ellyn said,

"Take care of yourself...to find a moment of pleasure in every day, whether it's reading a book, a manicure, a TV show, sipping a cup of hot tea or coffee, a devotion, meditation, exercising, etc. A few quiet minutes a day helps you to focus, be more present, and in turn, be a better mom." 

What Effects Your Child's Self Esteem and What You Can Do About it

My good friend Danielle is Psychology Intern at Dell Children's Medical Center in Austin. She’s about to graduate with her P.h.D in Clinical Psychology at Baylor University (whoop whoop!)

She’s seriously one of the smartest, most capable people I know:)

Danielle's been working with kids in therapy for the past year, helping them deal with trauma, depression, anxiety, and other issues. I asked her at what age kids begin to develop a sense of their self-worth, either positive or negative. 

I'm interested because it's my mission to help kids feel loved and valued for who they truly are. 

“Young children have relatively high self-esteem and overly positive outlooks about themselves, which gradually declines over the course of childhood,” Danielle says.

This makes a lot of sense, because as we grow we start comparing ourselves to others. Kids can be really mean, and it has lasting affects on how we think about ourselves. 

Self esteem continues to decline, she says, as kids reach adolescence, and things like body issues, stressful school situations, and complex social interactions come into play (Hello, Middle School.)

I think we’ve all had experiences as kids where we’ve felt pressure to fit in and be liked. I've written about my own struggle to feel good about myself, and it's why I'm so passionate about my mission. 

“That’s why childhood and early adolescence is such an important time for intervention!,” says Danielle.

And by intervention, she means parents helping their kids develop that positive sense of their own worth and value. 

One of the things she advices parents and kids not to do is “stuff’ their emotions.

Another important thing for parents to do is to teach their kids how to problem solve. That means letting them figure things out on their own. 

Danielle says it’s really important to let your kids fail, because that’s how they learn to deal with emotions like sadness and frustration.

She’s also sure to praise the parents for coming to therapy, because it’s not easy to admit when you need help. And for parents seeking therapy for their kids, Danielle encourages them to be involved in the treatment as well, because they learn valuable skills.

Here’s a few helpful links if you’d like more information:

effectivechildtherapy.org

The Development of Self-Esteem

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