Kids are messy and loud, but it’s a joyful noise, says my collector Micki. As a mom to six and three-year-old Francis and Henry, Micki has learned many lessons. But perhaps the most important, she says, is to stop and enjoy her kids.
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Taking care of triplets boys is a tall order. Just ask my friend and collector Deede. Her six-year-olds Walter, Cannon, and Tanner keep her very busy. Last year I had the privilege of painting portraits of her boys and getting a brief glimpse into the crazy, fun, and exhausting world of the Sherman Family.
I wanted to know more about what's it's like to be a mom to triplets, and Deede was kind enough to offer her insights. When I asked her how she had changed since becoming mom, she said the greatest impact it has made is on her priorities. Before she was pregnant, Deede worked many years establishing a career, and she her husband Scott assumed she would go back to work after her having kids. But when they found out it was triplets, they decided it would be best for her to stay home. Her priorities shifted and it was now her main job to care for these new boys.
Deede considers this new calling a blessing and a privilege. The greatest lesson her parents taught her about being a mom is to be present. Be the one who teaches your children right from wrong. Be the one who kisses their boo boo's. Be the one who tucks them in at night, says their prayers with them, and wishes them sweet dreams. Be the one creates a safe and loving environment in which to learn, explore and be able to make mistakes without fear.
Cherish these fleeting moments knowing that you have taught them that they are important and that they are loved unconditionally.
The mission of my business is to help parents like Deede cherish those fleeting moments of childhood through my work. By capturing their children, I help families experience deeper and more meaningful relationships. Their children know they are loved and valued.
I enjoy each and every commission I paint and the children and families I work for. My work is about a lot more than the paintings I create. I serve a greater mission that's about upholding and nurturing family relationships.
What could be more important than that?
Whitney says that there are days as a mom when she just wants to throw in the towel. But she knows she can't, because that's not what moms do. What makes it all worth it is when your little one throws that unsolicited, "I love you," as the scoot out the door, or the huge hug around the neck as if you have been gone for days. It's moments like these that keep your fears at bay.
I asked Whitney to be part of a new book I'm putting together on wisdom from mothers. I'm talking to some of the moms I've worked with and asking them to share their biggest challenges and greatest lessons learned from parenthood. Their answers have been surprising, hilarious and touching. I’ve learned that all moms struggle with feeling like they aren’t good enough, even the “perfect” moms who seem to have it all together (you know who I’m talking about).
As someone who is single and hopes to one day have a family of her own, these insights have been really valuable. Note to single ladies: enjoy those late nights and "New Girl" binges while you can.
Whitney said that when you become a mom it's the greatest feeling in the world, but it can also be the scariest. You love this brand new baby so much it sometimes hurts. It's up to you and your spouse to nourish, give affection, wisdom, discipline, life lessons, and so many other things.
As a mom to two young girls, Whitney has learned that ALL kids are different. Her daughters, Whitney and Grace, are at two totally opposite ends of the spectrum – one loves sports and the other art – and she loves it! It’s opened her eyes to many different adventures. It's like what Lauren said – your children are going to be who God created them to be. Don't try to force them to be something they're not.
Whitney also said that being a mom has taught her to go with the flow. Schedules are great and necessary, but when something does not happen in "1-2-3" order it's not the end of the world.
Her advice for a mom-to-be is to make sure to take time for yourself. Whether it's taking a tennis lesson, closing the door and reading a book for an hour or going to dinner with your husband. Happy moms make for happy kids and husbands! And seriously, when mom's not happy, no one is happy!
My wish for all children is that they grow up in a stable, two-parent home, where mom and dad love each other and the kids go to bed at night feeling happy, safe, and secure.
This might sound like a Norman Rockwell 1950's fantasy. In a society broken by divorce, these types of families are few and far between. I believe that's because our families are under attack. We live in a culture that encourages people to leave marriages when it no longer suits them, and tells single girls they don't need a dad to raise kids. Celebrities make living together cool (cough, Brangelina, cough) and we are told constantly that the "modern family" is whatever you want it to be. Dads and moms are interchangeable. Kids will come out the same, either way.
Well, I don't believe that's true and the evidence is everywhere.
Growing up, my parents didn't have a healthy marriage and it hurt my sister and I deeply. I say this with tears in my eyes, because I love my parents so much and know it's not easy. The kids I work with at Streets Ministries come from much worse. Many don't know their dads, grow up in rough neighborhoods, and have to deal with things no child should ever experience.
The traditional family unit has always been the bedrock of American society. As we continue to loose sight of that, we will suffer for it. The family structure of a married mom, dad and kids is built that way for a reason. It matters.
Growing up in a loving, stable home is the best gift parents can give their kids. Obviously, we live in a imperfect world, where event the best parents can't produce perfect kids, but shouldn't this be ideal we strive for?
My own experience and my deeply held beliefs are the reason I do what I do. My mission to help families honor they love they feel for their children through my art. I believe that when children know they are loved and valued, it makes our world a better place.
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I recently asked my collector and friend, Jenna, to talk about what she’s learned as a mom to three young kids, Jennings, Hayden and Clyde. This is part of a project I'm doing where I'm asking the moms whose children I paint to share the wisdom they've learned from motherhood. I've loved hearing their answers. It's been really eye-opening and I wanted to share some of their insights with other moms.
Jenna, like all moms, faces the daily challenges of raising children in our world. Her biggest worries are about their welfare and happiness – physically, mentally, and spiritually. When I asked Jenna what being a mom has taught her, her number one answer was patience. Lot and lots of patience.
Patience not to fly off the handle at her kids. Patience to get them to their various activities on time and make sure their homework is done without pulling her hair out. Patience to resist the urge to do everything for them.
Being a mom is a tough job. I once heard a mom say that it brings out all your weaknesses.
When I asked Jenna to share one piece of advice for a mom-to-be she said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. Everybody says it, but they grow up too fast. Savor it!”
Jenna knows if she's too busy worrying about the little things, she'll miss out on just enjoying her kids. She wants to savor each moment. Patience helps her to slow down and remember what's important, so she doesn't wake up one day and realize she missed out on their childhood.
Last Saturday my collector Betsy brought her daughter to my Saturday in the Studio monthly event. I painted a portrait of Callie when she was eighteen months old. I hadn’t seen her in two years.
I was blown away by how much she had grown, and it reminded of Jenna's advice – to savor the precious time when your children are young because they grow up so quickly.
Moms, what's one piece of wisdom you'd give to a mom-to-be?