I met with a mom last week who's interested in commissioning a portrait of her first child, a two-year-old boy.
I asked her, like I ask all of the moms I meet, to talk about how having a child has made her experience love differently.
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One of my favorites scenes from the movie, Bridget Jones’ Diary, is when Bridget is alone with Mark Darcy at a friend’s dinner party. She’s putting on her coat to leave what has been an awkward and embarrassing night as the only single person in a room full of Smug Married Couples, who all want to know why she’s not sprugged-up yet (that's British for married.)
Being a mom can be a daily battle with worry. The moms I work with tell me that their number one fear is that they just aren’t doing the right thing or are not doing enough as a parent. They are afraid of missing something, whether that’s a moment, a season, or a stirring in their child’s heart. They fear for their children’s welfare, and want to protect them from physical and emotional pain.
All moms could use some help with the huge responsibility and challenges of raising kids. To further my mission of helping families celebrate their children, I’m working on a book of motherly wisdom that I've collected from the moms I serve.
One such mom is my friend and collector, Kristen, who recently came over to my studio with her two precious girls, Caroline and Gracie. What touched me most during our conversation was how refreshingly open and honest Kristen was about her struggles and her faith. When I asked her what are the biggest worries she faces, she laughed, saying she wasn’t sure if she could list them all.
Like most of the moms I’ve talked to, Kristen worries that she’s not parenting the right way or doing the right thing, and that she might be “screwing up” her kids. It’s a daily battle that began the day she found out Caroline was coming into the world. But, she says her faith gives her the hope and reassurance that God is in control. She can trust in Him, because He loves her and her girls even more than she does.
Without her faith, Kristen says she couldn’t be a mom.
Faced with the huge responsibility she’s been given, Kristen says one of the most important lessons she’s learned is humility. It’s easy to forget that she’s not the one in control. Like another mom said, your kids are going to be who God created them to be. Let go! Kristen says that because of God’s love for her and her girls, she can rest in the fact that He has their best interest at heart.
The most touching thing she said during our talk was how amazed and overwhelmed she is by how much she loves her girls. She says it’s a true, unconditional love that comes from God and is a picture of the way He loves us.
Her parting words of advice of a mom-to-be are? Enjoy it. You blink, and your babies are grown. So try to find joy in every stage and embrace the constant change as best you can.